4 Toilet Learning Basics

1. Heroes prepare

2. Consistent language and routines are key

3. Timing is everything

4. Call for (positive) reinforcement

By implementing these strategies and preparing the environment and the child, they learn (natural) key times to use the bathroom in coordination with a familiar and consistent routine, using the bathroom becomes a habit! Toileting is a process that comes together by learning a variety of skills, so the process of learning takes place over time.

1.Heroes PREPARE!

When should I help my child get started?

If your child is able to pull to stand, then, the process can be introduced! In some countries and within some cultures, toileting is introduced even earlier. Initially, the task will be sitting down on the toilet, waiting for a short time (to see if anything happens), and making her way to standing.

Prepare Your Space

You need the proper tools in your space in order to kickstart this process. Introduce the tools and explain the purpose of each.

• Most children who are toilet learning need to use the bathroom every 90 minutes, then every 2 hours.

• At first they’ll practice using the bathroom, while continuing to wear a diaper.

• They will need to be changed standing up, rather than lying down.

• The best place to change a child standing up is at the bathtub or part of a cabinet (choose something steady low to the ground). 

• Set out a towel on the bathroom floor to indicate a designated place for the child to stand.

• Once the child shows consistent interest (throughout the majority of the day) and is successful, evaluate the transition to underwear during waking hours.

• Always be sure to have at least 2 changes of clothes in the car, small garbage bags, wipes, hand sanitizer, and extra diapers.

2.Consistency is Key

Use STATEMENTS, NOT questions. Show off your consistent language and routines. The goal is to NOT ask a question because questions will illicit a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ response. You are not looking for a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’, you’re looking for compliance.

• "It's time to use the bathroom"

• "Let's take a bathroom break"

• "Now is a good time to use the bathroom"

• "You will be ready for snack/to join us for.../to go outside, after you use the bathroom"

• "When you finish this activity, I will help you use the bathroom"

** As the child gets older, more of these phrases become relevant and appropriate for encouraging bathroom use.

Child Hesitant?

Offer TWO choices to gain compliance.  By offering TWO (appropriate, acceptable, and related) choices, the child “buys in” to the instruction and becomes empowered.

Lets explore appropriate choices:

• Can you climb onto the toilet yourself or do you need help?

• Do you want to use this bathroom or my bathroom?

• Who will help you in the bathroom, me or dad?

• Let’s set a timer, should we use the bathroom in 1 minute or 2 minutes?

• Let’s pick clothes for the day, should we choose before or after using the bathroom?

3 Easy Ways to Involve your Child 

1. Help with clothing- The child can begin to learn how to pull pants down/up.

2. Choose a song- While the child waits on the potty (even for 10 seconds), provide 2 song choices to make the wait time feel effortless.

3. Flush the toilet- Some children love to flush the toilet, while others have an aversion. Make flushing a part of the process, so, show the child how to flush, then offer a turn.

What about Bribery and Rewards!?  There is no need for bribery or rewards. Here’s how to do without: When you establish a schedule with routines and expectations, the consistent activities we complete become “the norm”, so the tasks we do are expected. For example, at wake up, “It’s time to use the toilet”, if the child is hesitant, in a reassuring voice share one of these phrases:

“We use the toilet when we wake up”

“We take good care our body by using the toilet at wake up time”

“First, you will use the toilet, then, you will be ready to get dressed”

“First, use the toilet, then, you’ll be ready to play.”

The “rewards” come from the schedule, the child’s accomplishments, and from within, NOT from the adult.

3.Timing is everything!

The best times to use these phrases are at natural transition times (and gradually add more opportunities).*

• Before going to bed is THE BEST time to start and then, at wake up! 

• 3rd, 4th- Before and after nap 

• 5th- Before washing hands for a meal or snack 

• 6th- Before taking a bath 

• 7th, 8th- Before leaving the house and when you arrive home from being out 

*While the exact order of introduction doesn’t really matter, the importance is really in the consistent encouragement of the process at the logical times you determine.

4.Call for Positive Reinforcement!

You’ll notice that the suggested language options shared below are similar for situations where the child was successful and when the child simply tried. It is not that you are celebrating your child regardless of the result, instead, you’re merely sportscasting your observations.  The language does not state how “PROUD YOU ARE”, instead, it references the child’s experience and the effort they put forth, so that the pride or confidence they develop and feel is a direct result of their own effort, not from an external source.

Language to use when the child is SUCCESSFUL: 

• You did it!

• You put urine in the toilet!

• You had a BM on the toilet!

• You know how to take good care of your body! 

• You were so patient!

• You remembered how to...

• Thank you for your help with...
  

Language to use when the child TRIES:

• You sat on the toilet!

• You tried to put urine in the toilet.

• You practiced using the bathroom, let’s try again in a little while (or later) .

• You’re working to take good care of your body!

• You were so patient!

• You remembered how to...

• Thank you for your help with...

Positivity Goes a Long Way

Heroes make the experience positive, even if the experience doesn’t yield the “exact output” you hoped that it would. Using the bathroom is like learning ANY OTHER SKILL, it takes time to become familiar with the different components of the process and the sensations in addition to learning body awareness and muscle control. Each part takes TIME. Verbalizing and sharing your observations  will further encourage your child to progress in their toilet learning processes.

Heroes, be patient, you’ll thank yourself later.

Items to Consider Adding to your Shopping List:

Toilet seat insert with handles

Step stool

Water timers (nice to watch, could encourage urination)

Towel at easy access height 

Easy to use soap

Book(s) to provide familiarity and support: i.e. Everybody Poops (or other)

We love to hear from YOU! Want more information? Prefer individualized support? Contact Stacey for consultation package details at info@homedayhero.com. Ready for your FREE Independence Guide? Request yours today at: www.homedayhero.com