What if it’s NOT the kids, then is it the adults!?
3 Common challenges when visiting family or family visits:
Inflexible mindset
Others are not familiar with your kiddos schedule or needs
“Competition” for time
The Key Takeaways
Don’t be judgmental. Don’t cop an attitude. Don’t get ruffled. Don’t even raise your voice. Share the facts, give the details, offer the choices. And, let it ride!
Oh, These Kids!
Your child is the same child today they were yesterday, 2 weeks ago, and even 2 months ago. If you’re finding challenges popping up, what’s the cause? A new routine? Some developmental hiccups? A change in expectations? Traveling? Any one of these can have an effect on a child’s progress, stability, emotional state/response, sleep habits, eating habits, etc. Instead of worrying, let’s FOCUS on how we pre-empt and respond to these kiddos; as YOU have the power to make a difference.
No one’s life is “perfect,” despite the image(s) they portray. We all experience challenges and struggles, perhaps, the obstacles we face are different, but emotionally, only you know the truth for yourself. Our children may see our struggle, they may feel the struggle, the shift and internalize their observations; as they recalibrate how they feel about a situation or how a situation makes them feel at a given time. We can teach them resilience.
In challenging times, it is tension and anxiety from within that makes focusing, being purposeful, and mindful seem like an uphill battle. I use the phrase “challenging times” quite frequently, as I recognize the challenges that people experience will vary based upon their life experiences. In a previous article, Common Challenges*, I shared some specific truths: We all feel stress, but how we manage our stress and how it relates to our children can be a challenge. The children have plenty of needs and we have needs, too; AND expectations to meet. When you’re feeling challenged, ask yourself: What energy are you emulating? Our children take cues from us and the more consistent we can be about our responses and our daily routines, the better the outcomes for everyone! With the current times in mind, I reached out to Lauren Chelec Cafritz, an expert in Health and Wellness, and Breath work, for an interview.
One day, not that long ago, when my husband walked in the room and randomly said, “you’re the pandemic champion!”, I laughed and immediately said aloud, “why do you say that?” The back story, I used to be pretty inflexible. It wasn’t that I didn’t care, it’s that I used to be quite set in my ways because I felt the things I was doing worked and my non-negotiable priorities were different. With these changes, I’m not losing who I am, I am reframing what I need, in this time. I’m still the same person!
I believe music can enhance all our lives and have made some suggestions here, as to how to provide musical experiences for your child in your home and everyday life. Recent research suggests that babies can not only hear sound at the prenatal stage, but may also have some memories after birth. A baby will turn their head towards a recognized voice. Music played during pregnancy can soothe a baby to sleep after they are born, suggesting that there is a memory of what they heard in the womb. I actually had this experience with one of my own sons!
Babies don’t come with manuals and just when we think we have “it all figured out”, those sweet little babies become toddlers and young children with ALLL the questions. People often wonder HOW do we answer their questions? What information do we provide? What is helpful? There’s also a debate about nature vs. nurture, but what if, it’s both!? You see, there is so much value in leading by example, however, environment matters, too and while children come into the world as they are, they are not born with biases and they don’t understand sarcasm! What offerings exist in a Montessori classroom and how do the materials and experiences support a child’s development in regards to awareness and acceptance?
Montessori environments are UNIQUE because the curriculum supports the teachers’ ability to follow the child. Each child has their own individualized curriculum that is centered around the child’s abilities, capabilities, and interests. The 10 aspects that I’ve highlighted will provide a window into an authentic Montessori classroom. There are many more aspects of the classroom that may exist, however, these tend to be the most common components.
Every day without fail, directly following breakfast, your son selects to play with play dough. You are ANNOYED, despite that he’s ready and willing to play happily and independently. Why are you annoyed? Likely because he has LOTS of other toys to play with and because he’s always making a mess with the play dough and then doesn’t bother to clean up afterwards. AMIRITE? Consider a few things: If you don’t want the child to engage in a specific activity, don’t make the activity readily available OR EXPLORE WHY the child is drawn to a specific activity AND what can be changed to encourage cleanup to be part of the process. Often times, it’s a matter of reframing what the child already knows and sharing it back to them (and usually) without judgement. It is also possible that the child does not understand that the play dough will become ruined and he may need to experience the natural consequence of seeing the play dough dried out and ruined to understand the importance of taking care of his toys or belongings. OR, maybe, this activity is a “default” activity for him because it’s “safe”, familiar, and doesn’t feel challenging. How can the activity be modified to spark his curiosity and further exploration? What if using play dough promoted hand strength, encouraged writing, and offered opportunities for counting activities. The play dough activity could be the beginning of so much learning, just imagine the possibilities!
What is Home Day Hero? Some days are school days, while other days are home days, such as the weekends, holidays, sick days, and days that school or daycare is closed. When you are at home with your child, YOU are THE HERO! How will you be a hero on your home days? Home Day Hero’s Montessori Inspired Solutions to the rescue! Born from the idea that Montessori components can easily be implemented at home with tips and tricks from a certified Montessorian (Montessori teacher), that’s me! Follow along in my adventures through teaching hundreds of children and raising my own kiddos.
As you explore spaces in your home, consider these broad questions: 1. How can my child be independent in this space? 2. What am I willing to do or change to encourage independence in this space? 3. Are there areas of my home that I would prefer to maintain in such a way that they ARE NOT a “Yes!” space? How will those areas be secured or supervised?
