What if it’s NOT the kids, then is it the adults!?
3 Common challenges when visiting family or family visits:
Inflexible mindset
Others are not familiar with your kiddos schedule or needs
“Competition” for time
The Key Takeaways
Don’t be judgmental. Don’t cop an attitude. Don’t get ruffled. Don’t even raise your voice. Share the facts, give the details, offer the choices. And, let it ride!
Oh, These Kids!
Your child is the same child today they were yesterday, 2 weeks ago, and even 2 months ago. If you’re finding challenges popping up, what’s the cause? A new routine? Some developmental hiccups? A change in expectations? Traveling? Any one of these can have an effect on a child’s progress, stability, emotional state/response, sleep habits, eating habits, etc. Instead of worrying, let’s FOCUS on how we pre-empt and respond to these kiddos; as YOU have the power to make a difference.
Supporting Preschool Children with Behavioral Challenges
In recent years, the early childhood sector has shifted from focusing on childcare to family care. This is typically implemented in the following ways:
Early childhood educators are widening their scope of support. Supporting preschool children means supporting their families; suggesting social services for the entire family, sharing resources for proper housing, suggesting employment options, etc. The idea is that the more stable a child’s home life is in the early years, the easier it will be to put them on a path of a positive trajectory.
Educators and guardians are more closely working together to support the child holistically. It is no longer about one type of support in the classroom from the educator, and another type in the home from the guardians. Both parties are now working together to provide consistent early childhood education and care between school and home.
It’s 9:01 p.m. and the kids are FINALLY asleep. I receive a text message and I respond immediately, but that’s the last thing I remember, as I suddenly hear my alarm blaring, it’s 6:45 a.m. I fell asleep in my daughter’s chair, again. These times are indeed hard. As parents, teachers, and those working with children; I get it, there’s an overall sense of utter exhaustion on every level. Perhaps, this feeling of being “overspent” by a never ending need to be flexible, adjust, and retool, but somehow meet all of the same typical needs and expectations, and then some is becoming quite the burden. It’s like driving a car on ice and attempting to remain in control, despite the tailspins. It’s HUMAN to feel this way and how we manage these emotions and concerns will make all the difference and it will be seen and felt through our efforts and our interactions with ourselves, our children, and others.
In all this time we’ve spent home and with our kiddos, perhaps you are noticing certain characteristics, behavior, and or development challenges. And, now that you’ve done some observations, you’re worried or curious and not sure what can be done with the information and concerns that you’ve collected. First, it may be worth a call to your child’s pediatrician to discuss. From there, if needed, numerous specialists exist that can help identify what type of exact issues may need to continue to be observed or addressed.
This component of a traditional primary Montessori classroom is by far the most interesting and beneficial component of the Montessori classroom experience, in my opinion. Children who are able to maintain their enrollment in a classroom, such as this for three years, have the opportunity to experience the classroom through numerous lenses. As a child grows and develops they naturally work towards developing specific skill sets and due to the incredible variety of activities, lessons, and materials available with in the Montessori classroom, the child’s experience in the classroom is different each year. The lessons that a child receives are based upon their interests and their abilities. Therefore, as a child learns and grows, they are provided with additional lessons to further support their development and interests. Lessons build upon one another and allow for children to inquire and explore, creating more meaningful, hands-on, and impressionable moments.
I believe music can enhance all our lives and have made some suggestions here, as to how to provide musical experiences for your child in your home and everyday life. Recent research suggests that babies can not only hear sound at the prenatal stage, but may also have some memories after birth. A baby will turn their head towards a recognized voice. Music played during pregnancy can soothe a baby to sleep after they are born, suggesting that there is a memory of what they heard in the womb. I actually had this experience with one of my own sons!
Babies don’t come with manuals and just when we think we have “it all figured out”, those sweet little babies become toddlers and young children with ALLL the questions. People often wonder HOW do we answer their questions? What information do we provide? What is helpful? There’s also a debate about nature vs. nurture, but what if, it’s both!? You see, there is so much value in leading by example, however, environment matters, too and while children come into the world as they are, they are not born with biases and they don’t understand sarcasm! What offerings exist in a Montessori classroom and how do the materials and experiences support a child’s development in regards to awareness and acceptance?
Often times, in the “heat of the moment”, in all of our interactions, we FORGET to set the expectations and instead proceed to become increasingly frustrated (physically, emotionally, and or verbally) by our children’s “misbehaviors”. Believe me when I say, your child will RESPECT you if you stay true to yourself and voice your expectations (or preferences). When a child realizes they can “walk all over you,” they may lose respect for you, not value your opinion or expectations, and “act out” in an effort to further “get their way.” If the child realizes you mean what you say because you show that you are serious, then, they will likely decrease their “button pushing” behavior.
As adults, we have experiences, beliefs, concerns, and awareness. For children, they are just developing these aspects of their thought processing and problem solving. From a very young age, children are able to sort and categorize information based upon basic characteristics. Often, the categorization they complete is unbiased and solely based in a general, “uneducated” manner. Not to say that our children are uneducated, but at times their conclusions are based in very little fact or with a lack of understanding. As children grow and learn, they further develop their ability to deepen their understanding of the outside world, their reasoning abilities increase, their problem-solving skills sharpen, and their ability to further understand other perspectives also improves. With all of this in mind, here are three common misconceptions that parents must face. These misconceptions speak to the insecurities within our children and within ourselves.
Montessori environments are UNIQUE because the curriculum supports the teachers’ ability to follow the child. Each child has their own individualized curriculum that is centered around the child’s abilities, capabilities, and interests. The 10 aspects that I’ve highlighted will provide a window into an authentic Montessori classroom. There are many more aspects of the classroom that may exist, however, these tend to be the most common components.
Do you feel like you’re constantly “fighting” with your child? Disagreeing on everything or feeling the tugs of power struggles!? THIS is your child’s cry for power. WHAT can you do to turn over some power in a way that you can get behind and feel good about supporting?
It’s the first day, you are TRYING with allll of your might to keep it together; trying to be on time, trying to look put together, trying not to cry, and show your kiddos your most confident side (that you can muster after a broken nights’ sleep of less than 6 hours, ahem, and no coffee yet). The first childs’ school drop off: you hold your breath and it goes well, no tears all around for your first. Then, the (partially dreaded) 2nd school drop off, you know the one...you fear the child won’t need to pried-off-of-you-kind!? Ya feel me, keep reading, even if you’re not feeling like a hero for your kiddos in this moment.
Every day without fail, directly following breakfast, your son selects to play with play dough. You are ANNOYED, despite that he’s ready and willing to play happily and independently. Why are you annoyed? Likely because he has LOTS of other toys to play with and because he’s always making a mess with the play dough and then doesn’t bother to clean up afterwards. AMIRITE? Consider a few things: If you don’t want the child to engage in a specific activity, don’t make the activity readily available OR EXPLORE WHY the child is drawn to a specific activity AND what can be changed to encourage cleanup to be part of the process. Often times, it’s a matter of reframing what the child already knows and sharing it back to them (and usually) without judgement. It is also possible that the child does not understand that the play dough will become ruined and he may need to experience the natural consequence of seeing the play dough dried out and ruined to understand the importance of taking care of his toys or belongings. OR, maybe, this activity is a “default” activity for him because it’s “safe”, familiar, and doesn’t feel challenging. How can the activity be modified to spark his curiosity and further exploration? What if using play dough promoted hand strength, encouraged writing, and offered opportunities for counting activities. The play dough activity could be the beginning of so much learning, just imagine the possibilities!
When I’m talking to my kids at home, my children in the classroom, the baby, or even other adults, I’m using almost the same exact language and the younger the child, the more I provide opportunities to explain the words and concepts within the context of my message(s). These moments provide for learning experiences and in time, the child will understand the context of the word or concept and be able to use it within their world. You may wonder, do I use the same (actual) words and phrases? Yes.
By implementing these strategies and preparing the environment and the child, they learn (natural) key times to use the bathroom in coordination with a familiar and consistent routine, using the bathroom becomes a habit! Toileting is a process that comes together by learning a variety of skills, so the process of learning takes place over time.
What is Home Day Hero? Some days are school days, while other days are home days, such as the weekends, holidays, sick days, and days that school or daycare is closed. When you are at home with your child, YOU are THE HERO! How will you be a hero on your home days? Home Day Hero’s Montessori Inspired Solutions to the rescue! Born from the idea that Montessori components can easily be implemented at home with tips and tricks from a certified Montessorian (Montessori teacher), that’s me! Follow along in my adventures through teaching hundreds of children and raising my own kiddos.
Have you found yourself stuck in a parenting rut? Digging your heels in the mud for the sake of a power struggle? By establishing expectations, you can shape your experience and your child’s by disengaging in power struggles through being consistent.
Children should desire activities that are joyful, while that may look different for every child. Children should display curiosity for their environment and all that is within the space. Children should feel comfortable and safe in their environment, if it is possible.
As you explore spaces in your home, consider these broad questions: 1. How can my child be independent in this space? 2. What am I willing to do or change to encourage independence in this space? 3. Are there areas of my home that I would prefer to maintain in such a way that they ARE NOT a “Yes!” space? How will those areas be secured or supervised?
