What if it’s NOT the kids, then is it the adults!?
3 Common challenges when visiting family or family visits:
Inflexible mindset
Others are not familiar with your kiddos schedule or needs
“Competition” for time
The Key Takeaways
Don’t be judgmental. Don’t cop an attitude. Don’t get ruffled. Don’t even raise your voice. Share the facts, give the details, offer the choices. And, let it ride!
Oh, These Kids!
Your child is the same child today they were yesterday, 2 weeks ago, and even 2 months ago. If you’re finding challenges popping up, what’s the cause? A new routine? Some developmental hiccups? A change in expectations? Traveling? Any one of these can have an effect on a child’s progress, stability, emotional state/response, sleep habits, eating habits, etc. Instead of worrying, let’s FOCUS on how we pre-empt and respond to these kiddos; as YOU have the power to make a difference.
Supporting Preschool Children with Behavioral Challenges
In recent years, the early childhood sector has shifted from focusing on childcare to family care. This is typically implemented in the following ways:
Early childhood educators are widening their scope of support. Supporting preschool children means supporting their families; suggesting social services for the entire family, sharing resources for proper housing, suggesting employment options, etc. The idea is that the more stable a child’s home life is in the early years, the easier it will be to put them on a path of a positive trajectory.
Educators and guardians are more closely working together to support the child holistically. It is no longer about one type of support in the classroom from the educator, and another type in the home from the guardians. Both parties are now working together to provide consistent early childhood education and care between school and home.
It’s 9:01 p.m. and the kids are FINALLY asleep. I receive a text message and I respond immediately, but that’s the last thing I remember, as I suddenly hear my alarm blaring, it’s 6:45 a.m. I fell asleep in my daughter’s chair, again. These times are indeed hard. As parents, teachers, and those working with children; I get it, there’s an overall sense of utter exhaustion on every level. Perhaps, this feeling of being “overspent” by a never ending need to be flexible, adjust, and retool, but somehow meet all of the same typical needs and expectations, and then some is becoming quite the burden. It’s like driving a car on ice and attempting to remain in control, despite the tailspins. It’s HUMAN to feel this way and how we manage these emotions and concerns will make all the difference and it will be seen and felt through our efforts and our interactions with ourselves, our children, and others.
One day, not that long ago, when my husband walked in the room and randomly said, “you’re the pandemic champion!”, I laughed and immediately said aloud, “why do you say that?” The back story, I used to be pretty inflexible. It wasn’t that I didn’t care, it’s that I used to be quite set in my ways because I felt the things I was doing worked and my non-negotiable priorities were different. With these changes, I’m not losing who I am, I am reframing what I need, in this time. I’m still the same person!
Babies don’t come with manuals and just when we think we have “it all figured out”, those sweet little babies become toddlers and young children with ALLL the questions. People often wonder HOW do we answer their questions? What information do we provide? What is helpful? There’s also a debate about nature vs. nurture, but what if, it’s both!? You see, there is so much value in leading by example, however, environment matters, too and while children come into the world as they are, they are not born with biases and they don’t understand sarcasm! What offerings exist in a Montessori classroom and how do the materials and experiences support a child’s development in regards to awareness and acceptance?
Often times, in the “heat of the moment”, in all of our interactions, we FORGET to set the expectations and instead proceed to become increasingly frustrated (physically, emotionally, and or verbally) by our children’s “misbehaviors”. Believe me when I say, your child will RESPECT you if you stay true to yourself and voice your expectations (or preferences). When a child realizes they can “walk all over you,” they may lose respect for you, not value your opinion or expectations, and “act out” in an effort to further “get their way.” If the child realizes you mean what you say because you show that you are serious, then, they will likely decrease their “button pushing” behavior.
As adults, we have experiences, beliefs, concerns, and awareness. For children, they are just developing these aspects of their thought processing and problem solving. From a very young age, children are able to sort and categorize information based upon basic characteristics. Often, the categorization they complete is unbiased and solely based in a general, “uneducated” manner. Not to say that our children are uneducated, but at times their conclusions are based in very little fact or with a lack of understanding. As children grow and learn, they further develop their ability to deepen their understanding of the outside world, their reasoning abilities increase, their problem-solving skills sharpen, and their ability to further understand other perspectives also improves. With all of this in mind, here are three common misconceptions that parents must face. These misconceptions speak to the insecurities within our children and within ourselves.
Montessori environments are UNIQUE because the curriculum supports the teachers’ ability to follow the child. Each child has their own individualized curriculum that is centered around the child’s abilities, capabilities, and interests. The 10 aspects that I’ve highlighted will provide a window into an authentic Montessori classroom. There are many more aspects of the classroom that may exist, however, these tend to be the most common components.
Do you feel like you’re constantly “fighting” with your child? Disagreeing on everything or feeling the tugs of power struggles!? THIS is your child’s cry for power. WHAT can you do to turn over some power in a way that you can get behind and feel good about supporting?
When I’m talking to my kids at home, my children in the classroom, the baby, or even other adults, I’m using almost the same exact language and the younger the child, the more I provide opportunities to explain the words and concepts within the context of my message(s). These moments provide for learning experiences and in time, the child will understand the context of the word or concept and be able to use it within their world. You may wonder, do I use the same (actual) words and phrases? Yes.
By implementing these strategies and preparing the environment and the child, they learn (natural) key times to use the bathroom in coordination with a familiar and consistent routine, using the bathroom becomes a habit! Toileting is a process that comes together by learning a variety of skills, so the process of learning takes place over time.
What is Home Day Hero? Some days are school days, while other days are home days, such as the weekends, holidays, sick days, and days that school or daycare is closed. When you are at home with your child, YOU are THE HERO! How will you be a hero on your home days? Home Day Hero’s Montessori Inspired Solutions to the rescue! Born from the idea that Montessori components can easily be implemented at home with tips and tricks from a certified Montessorian (Montessori teacher), that’s me! Follow along in my adventures through teaching hundreds of children and raising my own kiddos.
Have you found yourself stuck in a parenting rut? Digging your heels in the mud for the sake of a power struggle? By establishing expectations, you can shape your experience and your child’s by disengaging in power struggles through being consistent.
Children should desire activities that are joyful, while that may look different for every child. Children should display curiosity for their environment and all that is within the space. Children should feel comfortable and safe in their environment, if it is possible.
As you explore spaces in your home, consider these broad questions: 1. How can my child be independent in this space? 2. What am I willing to do or change to encourage independence in this space? 3. Are there areas of my home that I would prefer to maintain in such a way that they ARE NOT a “Yes!” space? How will those areas be secured or supervised?
